I wrote in my cover letter something like, “Just as I faced the challenges of the jungle, I could face the challenges in advertising,” or something stupid like that. It’s not on my LinkedIn, but it probably should be. I wanted to know: Did this movie ring true to his experience? Did it capture some ineffable je ne sais quoi only known previously to the thousands of men and roughly three women who had taken up the esteemed mantle of Jungle Cruise skipper since the ride’s inception in the 1950s? Were the real Jungle Cruise jokes better or worse than the Rock’s? And also, were all of the Jungle Cruise skippers hooking up in the ’80s?ĭo you want to be anonymous, or do you feel comfortable talking about your past as a Jungle Cruise skipper? It’s an important and agreed-upon tenet of film criticism that all movies must be reviewed by real people who do the real jobs in those movies, or else the review doesn’t count (godfathers on The Godfather, tomb raiders on Tomb Raider, zookeepers’ wives on The Zookeeper’s Wife, etc.) With that in mind, I reached out to Steve Krupkin, a man who helmed the simulated riverboat ride in his youth and who is now my uncle, and forced him to pay $30 to watch Jungle Cruise on Disney+ during his vacation. While I respected and mostly agreed with Bilge’s review, I couldn’t help but wonder if our perspectives were flawed, seeing as neither of us had ever been employed as Disney Jungle Cruise operators. Our critic Bilge Ebiri did not enjoy Jungle Cruise, calling it a “mealymouthed CGI panderfest” that hurled him deep into the pits of Herzogian existential despair. It is two hours and eight minutes long, and one of its characters is a man made entirely of bees. Much of the movie revolves around Frank’s ability to pop off dad jokes while operating a tourist jungle cruise while also low-key trying to find a mystical leaf that will allow him to finally die. In Jungle Cruise, Disney’s latest adaptation of one of its theme-park rides, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson plays an inexplicably brawny skipper named Frank, whose love of bad puns belies the fact that he is cursed to be trapped for eternity atop the Amazon River. A former Disney World skipper compares his experience on a simulated river cruise to the Rock’s.
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